Saturday, February 27, 2010

Getting closer

CJay and I are doing okay as March 5 draws near. I feel a sense of regression — back to some of the grieving I was doing months ago. There's no getting around it though. We have to get to March 5 and 6, and we have to trample through the memories and the pain. I've been studying Isaac's pictures a lot lately. I haven't done that in a while, but I'm glad I can take the time now to retrace his small features and marvel at his hair, his fingers, and his funny feet. I'm thankful that grief changes as time goes on. It was incredibly difficult for me to imagine a life without the extreme pain, no agony, of losing Isaac. Unfortunately but expectantly, that sensation has surfaced again with his upcoming birthday. It's amazing what humans can endure, isn't it? Only 6 months ago, I would have told you I wouldn't survive this. I didn't care if I did. This road has been rough, and I would have never picked it (who would), but it's our road to travel. And I'll forever be thankful that we met Isaac traveling down this road.

4 comments:

sarah s said...

I will be praying for you!

Trent, Lindsey & Theo said...

Whitney, you probably don't remember me. My husband and I were in The Heights Honeymooners with y'all briefly in 2007. I found your blog through mutual friends a couple years ago and have followed your journey. I just wanted to tell you that I think of you and pray for you often, even weep for you often. Isaac isn't forgotten and neither are you. I have been deeply moved by his little life and by your courage to share your suffering and perseverence. I'll be praying for you especially during the next few weeks. With love, Lindsey

Brooke said...

love you sweet friend. every time i think about gavin's birthday, i think of sweet Isaac. i can't imagine what you are feeling. i'm here if you need anything.

JI said...

You are amazing. I love you guys.

~Kelly