A Tiny Announcement

We're expecting another baby boy this November. Nathaniel Christopher is due on Thanksgiving Day (Nov. 25), which means I'm 18 weeks along. The doctor told us everything looks perfectly healthy so far.


Here's the baby at 17.5 weeks.



I'm 16 weeks here and not very big yet, although I'm definitely bigger than I was last time!

Recap

Maybe you're all wondering how I've been feeling lately. I know I haven't said. I didn't write anything about Isaac's first birthday or describe how CJay and I felt. Truthfully, I didn't want to. Truthfully, I've felt good. The funny thing about writing that (or even saying it) is it makes me feel a little guilty. I'm not sure why someone's death makes you feel as if you shouldn't keep living. Perhaps a wiser person could explain that to me.

I dreaded March 5, but it wasn't March 5 that got me. It was March 4. For months after Isaac died, CJay thought the 4th was his birthday. We had gone to see the specialist on March 4 at 4 p.m. for another ultrasound, and by 6 p.m. we were admitted to the hospital. We didn't sleep that night; Isaac was born at 1:31 a.m., and we waited until almost 8 a.m. to see him in the NICU. All of this to say ... all day on March 4 of this year, I was sad. Reliving the moments leading up to that appointment, to that moment when the doctor told us we had a choice: go home and he won't live or have a c-section soon. That moment started the avalanche.

And so, for CJay and me we watched the clock on March 4. We did play-by-play, remembering so many of the details and the emotions. We sat on the couch that evening picking through those hours leading up to Isaac's birth. We recalled waiting for my mom and feeling sick with worry. We talked about the surgery and hearing Isaac's two little cries. He was surprisingly loud and strong to have been so ill. We watched Isaac's video and looked at the pictures. And we cried.

On March 5, we celebrated. We talked about what Isaac gave us. We listed the ways in which we'd changed. We bought a cake and champagne and we toasted a strong-spirited child who gave every ounce of what he had. And we smiled.

A long time comin'

I certainly didn't intend to go so long between posts. We've been busy! I decided before Christmas last year that I wanted to go back to school - nursing school to be specific. That means that in January, I started taking a prerequisite class and preparing for the GRE. In the mean time CJay was taking classes to prep for yet another CPA exam and trying to survive tax season. If you've never lived with an accountant during tax season, try it. It's tough. Just as we came to the end of my semester, the end of tax season, and one day past my taking the GRE, CJay sprained both his ankles. Yes, both of them. Of course you want to know how he sprained both of them. Everyone asks that. Well, I didn't see it happen, but apparently, he fell on some of our landscaping rocks in the back yard. The rest is history. I spent almost a month taking care of him as he slowly started being able to walk and drive. Whew! That was a tough job! He's still not back to normal and will be in an ankle brace for another month, but at least he's mobile. Things have just been hectic since January and even more so since March.

I hope you'll forgive my absence. I started another class a couple weeks ago, and now I'm volunteering at a health clinic in town. All for my application to nursing school at UVA. I'll apply sometime in October but won't know the outcome until January. I think the story of why I want to attend nursing school is another post entirely. And I promise I'll write it. I want to share how I got to this decision, and why I'm so determined to do it. Until then, pray I survive the busy weeks ahead!